Life is one big test. The nice thing is when you think you have failed, you get to retake the test….over…and over….and over again. Each attempt offers a new lesson, a fresh perspective, and a chance to grow stronger and wiser. It’s in these moments of perseverance and resilience that we discover our true potential. 

I truly believe the only time you fail is when you choose to never try again. So many people are scared to fail that they refuse to even try so they remain stagnant, more times than not, choosing misery all for the sake of avoiding hard things.

What if, during the process of raising our children, we encountered challenges that we simply chose to give up, step aside, and walk away? I can assure you, there were moments when I found myself sitting in my car, locking myself in the bathroom, or taking late-night drives, overwhelmed by the feeling that I was failing as a parent….again! In those instances, I grappled with the notion of being superhuman—not in the heroic sense, but rather as someone deeply flawed and struggling with their own brokenness. 

When those who were supposed to love you the most choose to walk away without a glance back, they may not fully understand the profound negative impact this decision had on their child(ren). Abandoning their responsibility sends a clear message that “it’s acceptable, and even encouraged, to walk away when challenges arise.” In doing so, they risk instilling a belief in their children that they are unlovable so therefore, unwanted.

This is such a slippery slope. I’ll tell you how I know. Many years ago, I witnessed a heartbreaking situation involving a beautiful young child who simply longed for love. She moved from one home to another before finally finding her forever home, where she was cherished. However, she carried a heavy load of emotional baggage with her, and she didn’t know how to unpack it. Each of us carries baggage throughout life, especially if we haven’t been shown how to sift through it and let go of the negative while preserving the positive.

This child struggled with profound abandonment issues, leading her to become whatever, she thought, others expected her to be. She got good at being a chameleon. If she thought she needed to be obedient, she would go above and beyond to please those around her. Conversely, when surrounded by a rebellious crowd, she was known to have a mouth like a sailor. She was so insecure and simply had a desire to be accepted.

Her tendency to lie was so pronounced that it seemed she began to believe those fabrications herself, crafting an imagined narrative that led her to argue the wall was black when it was, in fact, white. She took pride in her ability to summon tears if it would elicit sympathy from others. Although she believed she was manipulating people and even found satisfaction in it, she was reluctant to acknowledge that those she was using were, in turn, using her. Deep down, I believe she was aware of this reality, but it must have been a painful truth for her to face. No one could truly comprehend how she functioned this way, as her behavior felt anything but natural.

How exhausting her life must’ve been. She learned how to run from all the people who had her best interest at heart and run toward the people who would hurt her the most. The reason? She believed if the person who was to love her the most left her then she would be the one to leave first before anyone else could. She never knew who she could trust so she put her faith only in herself and even that was faulty at best. She was going to get where she needed to go, being a high risk taker, expecting everyone and everything to be taken from her yet looking for anyone and everyone to take care of her, even if it was unhealthy.

I had heard that this young lady was so intelligent she could achieve anything she set her mind to. She was incredibly compassionate, with eyes that recognized the struggles of those who had faced hardships similar to her own. She possessed unique skills, excelled in tests that others found challenging, and was often told that her talent could take her far. However, when it truly mattered, she became paralyzed by fear of the potential failures and opted for never can fail at the mundane status quo. As a result, she chose the comfort of self-sabotage instead of embracing strength, self-respect, and the success that many only dream of attaining.

Many individuals have confided in me, reflecting on their past with the sentiment, “I have burned all the bridges with those who cared for me the most.” I respond with, “YOU have the ability to rebuild!” This is a wonderful realization, as none of us are perfect, and nurturing relationships requires time—especially those that have been damaged. Restoring trust may take a lifetime, but that’s perfectly okay. I would also suggest to this young woman that now is the perfect moment to confront those lies of “what ifs?” Embrace the challenges, child of God, because you have faced difficulties before, and you certainly can do it again with God by your side!

In moments of difficulty, did I ever want to run away? Absolutely! There were certainly times I felt the urge to flee and never look back. However, I am grateful that with the Lord guiding me through the journey—despite my many attempts to take control—I managed to persevere through the challenges, often just scraping by some days. It’s through these trials that I have become who I am today.

I frequently think of the people I connect with from around the globe. Some of them ask, “Where is God?” To this, I respond, “If you are a child of God and ever feel His absence, remember that the Teacher remains silent during a test.” I also remind them that if they have chosen to stray from His path, they must recognize that it is they who have moved away, not God.

The journey, particularly when we seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance to illuminate our steps, will be enriched by supportive companions, unexpected detours, and joyous moments. Embrace this opportunity for growth and learning, striving to cultivate a legacy that embodies the sentiment: “She made a difference!”

I will end with what I have told countless people over the years: God has a plan for YOUR life so YOU have a purpose to fulfill it! He has allowed all the things in your life, good, bad, and ugly, to be used for His glory! Now go and make a difference! Do hard things!

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Blessings,
Jennifer