November 22, 2025

“Is everything OK over there. I just heard two shots go off and Jennifer had a gun in her hand.”

It was not the average text to read that was sent to both my husband and I.

Thankfully, for my husband’s sanity, I had already called to let him know what was happening so he was able to respond to our neighbor that I had things covered; that we had an intruder that needed to go.

There he was, asleep on my front yard. I stared at him to see if he was alive or not. He sure looked alive, cuddled up and breathing deep. He had look on his face that gave me shivers. He might have looked innocent to some, pausing to take a nap, but he chose to pick a spot to rest, up close and personal, right next to my porch, too close for my comfort. He had to go, and I needed to make sure he was going to stay asleep while I swiftly took him out.

But, first I quickly called my husband to tell him what I was dealing with. He texted he couldn’t hear much as he was at an auction but would call me back later. I then responded to the text asking where a certain tool was and to pray for good aim. He immediately called me and instructed me on what to do. His first suggestion was for me to just run him off but I told him I wasn’t sure if he’d be aggressive with me or not so I’d rather not make him angry but instead take him out while he was soundly sleeping. He knew he couldn’t change my mind so he said when I used it, “just don’t drop it”.

So I handed the phone to my daughter who stayed inside on the line with my husband while I went on the porch quietly to take my place, getting ready to aim. Usually when I wake up my eyes are not clearly seeing but thankfully it seemed like I saw the sights just fine.

My daughter was on the other side of the glass door, giving me pointers. “mom, put your arms straight out!” Then opening the door slightly, she said “hand it to me, I’ll do it.” I told her to stay inside as I got it covered.

Then the little guy started to arouse as my daughter and I were talking. Okay we need to be quieter so he doesn’t wake up. I aimed. It happened so fast! All of a sudden, he was convulsing! Are you kidding me now?! I didn’t want him to get up so I had to do another hit to put him out of his misery. Finally!

I could hear my daughter say to my husband, “she got him.” I took the phone and he told me, “two shots, two hits. Good job.” He then said I could leave him, and he would dispose of him when he got home.

But I felt if I waited till the auction was over and he was home, there would be a bigger mess to clean up because the bugs or birds or anything coming to feast on him would be swarming plus I wanted my animals to be able to run around without going near him.

So as soon as my daughter left with her friend, I grabbed the biggest trash bag we had along with gloves. I stood there, in my pajamas and slippers, wondering if he was really dead or not, figuring out how to do this. I chastised myself for watching too many horror shows in my younger years.

I simply needed to get it over with to go on with my day but I just stood there contemplating on what to do. I asked God, “Why did you create this creature?!” No answer.

So I picked him up by his tail and I saw things I cannot get out of my very visual mind. Yuck! As little as I thought he was, he was good sized and hairy….VERY hairy!

I then went to try to put him in the bag but the wind was blowing so I set the bag down and tried to put him in that way but then he just laid there. Obviously he wasn’t going to help me and I had no one around to ask to hold the bag for me.

Again, I was still thinking he could come at me because his mouth was open and his teeth were so nasty, it really creeped me out.

I couldn’t keep the bag open. “Lord, can you please make the wind stop?” No response.

I didn’t have time for this. I picked him up again by his tail and took him, walked through the yard as I am holding him as far away from me as I could, went into the garage where the wind wasn’t blowing,

I had to get another bag. I eventually got him in the bags, threw the gloves along in with him, and tossed the bag in the 50 gallon trash bin. That was it!

But then I went to inspect where he had been laying, and ugh, I needed to get water from the pond and throw it on where he had been as I didn’t want any animals to go over and mess with the area just in case the creepy guy had any infections. That was that!

Mr. Opossum was in Critter Heaven having the time of his life. You’re welcome, little man! You might want to get a message to your friends and family to never come that close to my front door again.

Just another day in the life!

Blessings,
Jennifer