February 17, 2022

CANCEL CULTURE is a modern form of ostracism in which someone is thrust out of social, family, or professional circles – whether it be online, on social media, or in person.

I have so much I want to write about but a big part of me doesn’t care to put my thoughts out there because anymore people think it’s okay to be your judge and CANCEL you whether you know them or not. I must remember I have only One Judge and as long as I am passing everything by Him, making sure that I please Him alone, that is all that should matter.

I remember when I had social media, I would have some tell me what I should or shouldn’t put out there. I was criticized for articles I would share, pages i would follow, and some so bold as to tell me I had better take them down. I had been put down because my belief system was different than theirs, and if I don’t share their views, anything I wrote was considered wrong. CANCELLED I am pretty sure when a person lashes out at you, it really has nothing to do with you but instead it has to do with their insecurities about what they personally believe. I am so glad I am not on social media anymore because some things I had seen before are immoral that I don’t need to have my eyes see or have unhealthy thoughts floating in my head. I still have to be careful about articles I read or news I watch for this very reason as it can really affect my thinking.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve developed more of a backbone because I’ve realized I would do things to get that person(s) off my back but also so they wouldn’t be angry with me. I remember even buying things and taking them back after I was told that if someone else couldn’t afford it that I surely couldn’t. CANCELLED What a fool I was to do as I was told, a grown adult. So embarrassing to allow others to treat you like a child. I look back and found I wanted acceptance and to please which is why I did what others told me at times and certain people know how to intimidate to make you do what they suggest (demand). Will I make bad judgments on how I speak, what I do, or what I purchase? For sure! I look back though and see how God has grown me in wisdom and discernment, and He continues to.

In the last couple years masks suddenly became an amazing barrier to protect us from a virus so tiny that it would slip through all the pretty masks being sold (but that’s besides the point). When someone learned I was getting infusions yet still going out in public, without a mask, said that if I cared about my life that I should wear a mask. CANCELLED I had to wonder if this person believed that anyone who didn’t wear a mask must be suicidal. Actually, the masks made my lips tingle and my oxygen would go further down (lowest was 78) which even some of my doctors realized that made things worse for me. To this comment and those like it, I replied that God has numbered my days and am confident I would not go Home until He is done with me on earth. (That may be awhile because I keep having to repeat tests. Haha.. I have also said I am not going to live recklessly like walking across the street without looking first. Anytime I have seen someone wearing a mask, I am considerate to ask if they wanted me to wear one as well.

Our world has changed so much that I find some things unbelievable. If someone would’ve told me ten years ago that all this crazy would be unfolding before my eyes, I would’ve laughed. CANCELLED I am seeing that closer it gets to Jesus coming back, the more people will fall away from their faith, becoming their own gods, without even realizing it and therefore doing what is right in their own eyes. It is quite scary how a person can go one day, then another, then a week, a month, a year without making Christ center of their life and they start looking more like the world and less like Jesus. I remember when I was younger reading a phrase that has stuck in my mind ever since and it is, ”seven days without God makes one WEAK.” This is SO true! I cannot tell you how many times when I’ve forgotten to start my day with God over the years and anyone who crosses my path will know it because I am unkind, rude, and selfish. It is so easy to become that way without God controlling your life. Thankfully, God is patient in reminding me that I need Him every moment of every day.

Over the past few years as I’ve seen people fall away — people that I had learned from and admired for their undeniable commitment to Christ, I find myself concerned that I too will fall away if it’s that easy for them. I must ask God for help to keep my eyes on Him always so I will not fall away. I think often of the parable of the sower where seeds were scattered on different soil. Some seed didn’t take root so the birds came by and ate them. Some landed on the stone where there was only a little soil. I think of a rock patio where things can grow in-between but it’s shallow so it will soon die. Then some fell on thorns but the thorns took them over and they couldn’t live. Then some seed fell on good soil and brought in a good crop. I am a very visual learning person so this helps me to understand how we can be in our humanness.

The sower is the Holy Spirit, through others, spreading the Word of God. Some will hear but because they choose not to accept the Lord, they don’t have the Holy Spirit to help them understand so they reject it immediately. Some will hear the Word and have a mountain top experience, saying ”the sinner’s prayer” (FYI: there’s no such thing – I believe the enemy has used this phrase to deceive people into believing that the words they say is what saves them when in actuality it does not. I use to believe this lie). They may even be baptized, go to church every Sunday and Wednesday, but the rest of the week they are living out their own will, believing that is best. Unfortunately, these are the people who will hear, ”depart, I knew you not”. Then there are those that hear the Word and receive it but the deceitfulness of the world draws them back to their old ways. I believe that these people are saved but no longer serving the Lord. At a certain point, they only have “fire insurance” and nothing more. Finally, there are those that will hear the Word and study to understand it, producing much fruit for the Kingdom.

The Church has become greatly divided over the past couple years. This should concern us, brothers and sisters in Christ! It’s no longer people getting upset about the kind of chairs or color of carpet or the type of music played inside the church buildings, (which by the way is something else the enemy loves to use to divide.) CANCELLED Let’s realize that if we are getting upset over these things, we are being petty and better start acting like mature Christian brothers and sisters.

Now, I see the church family being divided over masks and vaccines. CANCELLED This needs to stop NOW! Christ says if we are His children, we will love ALL His children, whether we agree or not, whether we annoy each other or not, the easy ones to love and the difficult ones to love. We must look past our differences and see each other as Christ does. We must remember we are not each other’s enemies but instead remember we are all looking to the same goal — the Kingdom of God.

If we do not love but instead spew hatred we need to reevaluate our hearts as to whether we are His or the enemy’s child. I admit, there have been times I have had hatred spew from my lips or fingers (FYI: don’t talk or text when you’re hurt or angry). I look back and realize the fears I had came out in anger at times. I can blog about that sometime as it’s a whole other topic of fear translating into anger. So if we’ve done wrong to each other, as brothers and sisters in Christ, we must become humble and ask as well as accept forgiveness. Anytime I participate in communion, I ask God to search my heart to know if I need to make things right with someone. If I realize I haven’t, I must skip communion until I have done that.

I see families divided more and more the closer it is to Christ coming back. I see such dysfunction yet if we are honest, we all bring dysfunction to our relationships because Adam and Eve were the first to start putting the FUN in dysfunction. This would be another great topic to write about as well because many women have to take the leadership role as their husbands refuse to so it lands on their shoulders and they become the “Master of the House” because they are frustrated to have to take on the mom role as well as the dad role and it can come out all sideways. Have you ever been angry or frustrated with one person yet take it out on another? Then the daddies either become the fun one, letting the kids do whatever they want or the ones who don’t spend time with them because they are so absorbed in their own lives. It becomes an unhealthy home that is very unbalanced. Passive husbands usually equals aggressive wives. Another topic to dive into some day!

Anyhow, my heart has been crushed to see families choosing not to get together because their views are different. They get ignored as if they don’t exist. People have had to get tested to go to weddings and even holidays or told they can’t see the grandchildren until you do what they believe in. I have heard of people meeting outdoors, masked, and being socially distant because they have such fear instilled in them by the media. No more hugs. No more hand shakes or fist bumps but instead elbow bumps. CANCELLED As a child of God, are we to live in fear? How is our witness? I have seen some people stay in their homes for the past two years. This is not healthy. People need relationship and touch of another human.

I’ve also seen families leave other family members out because their beliefs are different or purely because they are the odd ones out, the ones who have never fit in, the ones who drive us crazy, the ones who are just annoying to be around. It reminds me of being the last one always picked on a team in school. CANCELLED The sad thing is that your peers may do that and yes, rejection hurts, but can you imagine the deep hurt a family member feels when another family member does this with them?

They may feel invisible so much so that they wonder why even try anymore because to try to no avail is continual rejection and heartache all over again. They may even question if those people would even notice or care when they’re gone. (Side note: don’t attend someone’s funeral whom you’ve CANCELLED out of your life. I’ve seen this happen….someone tells others that a “loved one” is about to die or died so they see an opportunity for people to feel sorry for “their loss”. When a person does that, they look like a fool because their social circles already knew it was someone they talked negative about and/or chose not invite them into their life for one reason or another.)

If you’ve been blessed to never experienced feeling invisible or unloved, ask God to show you through His eyes, putting yourself in those people’s shoes. When I think negative of someone, I have to remind myself that God made them for a good purpose, and that thought reminds me to love them right where they are at, focusing on their positives. There have been times I’ve had to really think about someone’s positive but everyone has at least one.

I had seen such dysfunctional families when I worked in the hospital and clinics to the point where I wondered how they even got along without killing each other because it was beyond dysfunction, and I think if at the end of the day, those families, who probably aren’t even followers of Christ, can manage to still love each other through all their flaws and annoyances, people who call themselves children of God should definitely be able to step up to the plate and love like Christ. Now, this isn’t to say there shouldn’t be boundaries in place. We set up boundaries after after we had been married a few years and then would have to revisit how that was working once in awhile. This is also a good example to your children that you can love everyone even with boundaries in place. Boundaries are not a negative but a positive for all.

When our children move on and get married, we need to make sure they are not attached to us so much so that they cannot “leave and cleave”. My husband and I were at the opposite ends of the spectrum with this. He wanted to completely cut off and leave whereas I was still way too attached without realizing it at the time. Thankfully my husband and I have learned, and are still learning, to balance each other out.

When my children moved out to go to college, I would wait for them to contact me as I knew they were having their own life experiences, and I didn’t want to be that “helicopter” parent. It was wonderful as they would text or call me daily (sometimes multiple times a day) to tell me about their days. I loved being there for them, listening to how God was at work in their lives, grieving with them when they were dealing with difficult circumstances, and praying with, for, and over them. I must admit though that when my children have turned 18 and/or were living on their own, I was so thankful I no longer had to make decisions for them. Of course, I would be asked my opinion on things but ultimately they needed to make their own choices, whether wise or unwise. They learn eventually as we all have had to.

Many adult children are still attached at the umbilical cord because either mom and/or dad continue to enable them by doing their bidding and/or the parents still think they can tell them how to live because they know best. Right? Haha! Parenting is such a fine balance as with any relationship. To not cut the umbilical cord is setting the child up for failure because what happens when mom and dad are no longer there to save them? There are life lessons they won’t get if we stand in the way so we must cut the cord.

I look over my life the past few years and realize that if I wasn’t living as a full-time Christian with godly standards but instead living as a Sunday Christian only, as I did for many years, I would have many more relationships and many wouldn’t have been good for me. I look back and the bolder I became in my convictions and a witness for Christ, I realized people who had once been in my life CANCELLED me even before the cancel culture was a thing. I am sure anyone can look back on their life and see where they had the same kind of experiences.

We need to ask ourselves why we all cannot have our own opinions, respecting those with differing ones. How hard is it to love each other with the love of Christ? It is easy to love the ones we agree with or who don’t annoy us but we are told to love ALL. Are we living and loving as God’s children or are we being bitter and divisive when someone else doesn’t agree with how we live? It needs to be okay if we don’t agree. We can agree to disagree and still love each other.

So, let’s strive to stop CANCELLING each other out. It is not helpful, and nothing good comes from it.

Blessings,
Jennifer