April 9, 2026

Many years ago, I experienced what I thought would be my worst illness with H1N1. Then, about a decade later, my health deteriorated once again. Whatever had been lying dormant in my body suddenly reared its head all at once. I already struggled with asthma, but breathing became increasingly difficult. I felt an overwhelming fatigue and began to forget things easily. My oxygen levels dropped, and my bloodwork indicated a serious situation, prompting my doctor to call my husband and urge him to take me to the hospital.

I once had someone suggest that I must be suicidal for leaving my house during the first year of Covid, claiming I was endangering my life by being outdoors. I reminded her that my days are numbered by God, which means I don’t need to live in fear. In truth, isolating oneself and living in anxiety isn’t truly living; it can be far more damaging than any external threat. I felt compassion for her and anyone else who couldn’t experience the freedom from worry. “To live is Christ; to die is gain!”

Since that time, there have been occasions when medical professionals have informed me that if specific bloodwork results—deemed critical by the medical community—were to occur, I could experience “cardiac arrest,” slip into a coma, and potentially never awaken. This is all based on previous statistics. “To live is Christ; to die is gain!”

It has yet to occur, and while I acknowledge that it only takes one incident to change everything, it is God who has counted my days—no one else can determine that. I choose not to live recklessly, but I also refuse to allow fear to control me. “To live is Christ; to die is gain!”

Every day is a precious gift, and I choose to approach life with gratitude and boldness. I prioritize the eternal aspects of life like never before, which not only bring me joy and fulfillment but also reflect a purpose-driven existence for the Lord. “To live is Christ; to die is gain!”

While I stay informed about my health, I refuse to let anxiety dictate my actions or overshadow the beauty in everyday moments. Faith gives hope and the belief that life, in all its unpredictability, is a journey worth cherishing. This life on earth is but a breath compared to eternity after this life. “To live is Christ; to die is gain!”

Almost every day, I remind myself of the phrase, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” I never truly grasped its meaning because I didn’t know who could live like that until the last few years. I look back and often found myself living for my own interests as well as living for other’s interests, rather than for the Lord. I would pray, “Lord, don’t let me miss this moment,” and “You can take me after this moment, Lord,” like I wanted to live on earth forever. What a selfish way to live. I never put God first. I was putting other people before God. No wonder I couldn’t grasp the verse. I desired God first and I prayed for God first, but I didn’t get it for so long.

I am incredibly thankful for the way God has intentionally guided my life, revealing things I had never noticed before. He has helped me understand the significance of letting go of everything that could cause worry to find true freedom. I’ve experienced this since living every day for the Lord, rather than for myself or others. I strive to make an eternal impact by seizing every day to share Him with the world!

Reflecting on this brings me so much joy; sharing Christ is truly my favorite activity. I wonder what my role in heaven will be—perhaps singing and gardening? I recently wrote a song and I hope to do that more often and I love gardening. The cool thing is that my will definitely will line up with God’s will. God knows, and whatever it is, I am certain I will cherish it. “to live is Christ; to die is gain.”

God transcends mere statistics; He desires for His creation to grasp the essence of living boldly for Him. We are called to go wherever He leads and to do whatever He desires, all while trusting that our time is held in His hands. He is Sovereign over all and knows precisely when our final breath will be. That is good enough for me and until then, “to live is Christ; to die is gain.”