March 29, 2026

She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness – vs 27….

Be involved in knowing where your children are and who the company is they keep. “Tsaphah” is a Hebrew word that is a verb meaning “to look out”, “keep watch”, “spy”, “observe”. It is an act of watching attentively so yes, yes, when our children are growing, it is our responsibility to know what is going on in their lives. This could annoy them but most importantly they will realize you love them very much. This also means being a prayer warrior for them, standing in the gap, with fervent prayer. When they were all living at home, I could tell the spiritual battles as when I would pray, there were struggles in their lives at different times. I can think of a few examples that have stuck with me and I am sure with my children, too….

This wasn’t much of a struggle because I didn’t get much push back from my children especially when we all learned a valuable lesson from it, but I remember when my older children were much younger and would ride their bikes. I would sit on a bench while they rode around, circling the area and down the sidewalk where I could keep an eye on them. They had an invisible boundary that they understood, indicating when to turn back.

A neighborhood girl, around their age, often joined them and once asked why they couldn’t go farther. I explained that they had boundaries, and she asked why. I told her it was to ensure I could see them. Satisfied with my response, she rode off, only to return moments later asking if I could set boundaries for her as well. I replied that I wasn’t her mother, so it wasn’t my place to do so. She then revealed, “I don’t have boundaries. My mom doesn’t care where I go.”

So, I told her, “Alright, your boundaries will be the same as my children’s.” She rode off, thrilled, and every time she came back, she told me she was making sure she was staying in the boundaries. She felt cared for and loved. Later, I discussed her desire for boundaries with my kids, and they were astonished she would want them. I explained, “Boundaries make a person feel safe.” It turned out to be a valuable lesson for all of us!

I recalled her visiting for lunch more than once as our house seemed to be the fun hangout place, especially in the summer and on school breaks. I remembered the first time we took her to church with us; I approached her mother to introduce myself and check if it was alright. The response was nonchalant, stating she didn’t care where she went. I was taken aback that a parent could be so indifferent about her child’s whereabouts.

Another time, when dropping one of our teens off at school, as I was leaving the parking lot, I felt a nudge to park and follow her. I thought, “I don’t have time for this. I’m sure she’s fine. What could go wrong at school?”. I tried to convince myself to ignore what I was feeling. I questioned why the nudge was so heavy (not realizing that it was the Holy Spirit) and then finally turned around and parked. I walked in.

My heart was pounding the closer I got to where she was to be. I walked in and looked around and couldn’t find her. Someone asked who I was looking for, and I told them, and they said, “she doesn’t come here”. What?!?! I know she’s here because I just dropped her off! Thankfully she was found and we were able to talk with her along with teachers about her behavior and lack of attendance. I remember telling her, “you hear me pray for you every morning before school. You hear me pray if any of you do wrong, that you get caught. How did you not think God wouldn’t answer?”

Another time, my husband came to my work to show me he had discovered one our children communicating online with strangers, and in the printed papers, we found she had given our address to one to meet her. It’s like God shows us what we need to know, and it’s our choice, as a parent, if we are going to ignore that, remaining idle, (because that would be easy to pretend it doesn’t exist) or if we are going to work on it, hard and all, head on. I was thankful my husband wrote to the one who got our address telling him that he was her dad and that he would not have any more contact with her as she was a minor. He got the point.

I woke up in the middle of the night having a dream, those dreams that prompt you to pray, that one of my children was in the middle of temptation. I checked to see if he was home from his date yet or not, and he wasn’t, so I called him and asked if he was in the car with his girlfriend. He asked how I would know this. I told him of my dream and he said that was crazy yet correct so made a good choice to flee temptation and come home.

The pool is where I take a book to read, thinking I will read it, but then I found myself watching where the children were because I feared they would drown when they were younger. I always wondered how most moms could just lay there with no care in the world. One time, I pulled out a book to read, but noticed one of my children up on the tallest diving board, and she was trying to get down the steps. It looked like she was being blocked.

I jumped up and the mama bear in me came out as I got closer because I saw her struggling to get past the boy and he had his arms out. I hollered up there and said “you move away immediately and let her pass.” This got everyone’s attention I am sure. He had the nerve to tell me “if you’re her mom you should make her jump since she’s already up here.” At this point I am livid and said if he didn’t move I would move him myself.

She got down, tears streaming down her face, and hugged me. Lifeguards were finally taking action. He got kicked out of the pool but we left, too, because we weren’t going to stay after that. As we were walking out his grandmother told me, “everyone is always picking on him and that causes him to always get kicked out.” I asked her if she knew what took place and she didn’t so then I told her. She looked confused and I said “maybe there is a reason he keeps getting kicked out of the pool”?

And should we pray for our children’s boyfriends or girlfriends? Of course we should because we want them to be good people, too. I can think of nine people who got a lot of my prayers throughout the years. And should we look into their background, meet with them, and get to know them? Yes, yes, we should. Even employers look up people’s information as everything is public and with everyone sharing their lives on social media, you better bet that the parents are checking out who their children are interested in. I would think if your child’s employer cares that much about who they’re hiring, how much more should the parent, who loves them deeply, check them out, too. It’s a no brainer.

There was a time, I felt something was not right, again a nudging feeling, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was asking God to show me if I needed to do something in this child’s life. She happened to call me and I asked again if she was okay or if there was something she wanted to talk about and she said she was fine. I didn’t feel things were fine but I had to just pray about it, knowing she would share something if she needed to. We said goodbye, and I immediately started talking to God about her. I don’t remember exactly what I said but I was fervently praying for her protection, for her to be able to talk to me, and for me to understand.

A few hours later, she told me she hadn’t hung up the phone and she heard my entire prayer. I am so thankful that my children learned the importance of praying anytime, anywhere, just like you would with a friend. She thanked me and then her tears came. I held her close and told her we would get through the hard together. It was a bittersweet time of prayer with her and then later with my husband and her.

And I have prayer journals for each of my children and their spouses. I write in each of those once a month, unless I have a dream that prompts me to pray because then I know they are in the middle of a spiritual battle or about to be. It has happened often. Prayer is really what has helped guide me to figure out some things. When you get a nudge, don’t ignore it. Take time to do hard things and pray that you will know how to handle anything. You can, with God’s help.

I remember telling a young mom I was mentoring that it is important to be an active parent as well as pray for them, not giving up, even when it is hard. Fervent prayer takes energy. And, somewhat annoyed, she said, “Man! Your children are blessed! I wish I had that blessing! I want that blessing!”

I have seen this poem before and find it funny because it’s a bit exagerated but I see the point the author is trying to relay…..

My Promise to My Children
I am not your friend.
I am your mom.
I will stalk you, flip out on you,
lecture you, drive you insane,
be your worst nightmare
and hunt you down
like a bloodhound when needed
because I LOVE YOU!
When you understand that,
I will know you are a reasonable adult.
You will never find someone who loves, prays,
cares, and worries about you more than I do.

And, obviously this is when they are living under your roof, under your protection, and responsibility. When they leave the nest, you let go, knowing that God loves them more than you ever could, but the praying parent will never end. And when they have struggles, they will remember mom is standing in the gap, fighting for them, sometimes on her knees. My version of this poem would be something like this….

My Dear Children.
I will be your biggest cheerleader. 
I will celebrate your triumphs 
and share in your sorrows.
As you grow and explore the world, 
remember those times we talked
through the hard lessons of life.
To follow Jesus daily is the most
important decision of your life.
No matter where life takes you, 
you will always be my child, 
I will never stop praying for you.

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Blessings,
Jennifer